"Same Drugs" - Misterwives
This year was not like the others. I spent less time at impromptu living room dance parties and more time sitting in a chair awake in the middle of the night wishing I was asleep. I spent less time singing loudly to pop songs in the car and more time whispering and trying to remember the name of that sad song my mom used to sing me. I spent very little time drinking. I think I had one whiskey all year. Instead it was my job to feed, to care, to give my time, my body, my whole attention.
I had a baby this year.
Nothing is the same as last year. As this song says: "We don't do the same drugs no more."
But this year meant realizing I had a whole other chamber to my heart that I never knew existed. It meant watching with awe as my husband transformed into a capable, attentive, adoring father, and the best darn swaddler YouTube has ever produced. It meant experiencing the power of walking down the street and thinking "If anyone tries to hurt my kid I will straight Mama Bear their ass," and meaning it. It meant laughing and smiling everyday -- and going to bed at night feeling grateful, incredibly grateful, and humbled by the chance to have this sweet girl in my life.
These are not the same drugs. But these are good drugs.
"80s Mercedes" - Maren Morris
Because it's fun and my middle name is Mercedes.
"Cleopatra" - The Lumineers
This has become Claren's not-so-typical lullaby.
"Redbone" - Childish Gambino
I just learned of this artist earlier this month and two of his songs made it on my list. They are different. They sound old and new at the same time.
"Into the Night" - Cardiknox
Sometimes you just have to put your phone on silent.
"No Money" - Galantis
"Lemonade" - Adam Friedman
I am partial to songs about California.
"Overwhelming" - Jon Bellion
I had a Jon Bellion song on my list last year too. I think his lyrics are clever.
"Millionaire" - Cash Cash feat. Nelly
Even though this year has been completely different for me, there is comfort knowing Nelly is still out there singing about money.
"Every Songbird Says" - Sam Beam
Every time I listen to this song and it gets to the part where they repeat "it's enough" so many times that it really is ENOUGH, I think "Why do I even like this song?" and then I play it again.
"The Night Me and Your Mama Met" - Childish Gambino
Maybe I like "Awake, My Love!" so much because the album is a tribute to his newborn son. We are in a similar spot in life. This connects with me.
"After the Afterparty" - Charli XCX feat. Lil Yachty
I said I spent less time dancing in the living room. A girl still has to groove sometimes.